Category: Getting to Know You
OK, I admit it. I created this topic as a way perhaps to fish for like-minded souls as myself. So, do you feel you have a tough time fitting in with most people? Is your musical taste just a little too out there when all your friends like nothing but country or dance music or rap? Do you have points of view on this or that which just don't click with most of society? Are you considered eccentric? Do you question what most folks accept as true? Well then, you might well just be a square peg in this world of round holes. So, why not chime in and show off your square peg pride, if you dare.
hello, interesting topic, I like it. I'd certainly call myself different. I don't fit in easily with other people. I have strange musical tastes, smiles.
Well, when I was younger and "Star Wars" was al the rage, I wouldn't go see it, because everyone else was. All my friends were eating yogurt, so I didn't to protest. I've been an independent thinker, or so I'd like to believe for many years. It doesn't bother me very much that I never followed the crowd. In fact, I kinda like the person who stares out of my braille mirror in the morning.
Lou
I think anyone can be a square peg or a conformist. It just depends on whether most of the people you know share the same tastes in music, politics, etc. or whether they don't. There was a time when I hated country music, so my friends who liked it said my taste in music was weird. But now I'm a big country fan, so people who hate country think my musical taste is weird. So I think it just depends on who you hang with.
Agreed, Becky. Well said.
I dunno, I can't say I agree a hundred percent with Becky's point. See, to me, a square peg isn't just somebody who goes against whatever crowd they're running in, but perhaps goes against any crowd at all. Let's use the music example. I like, let's say, music by obscure Sixties garage bands. Most people don't care about such music because it isn't famous or played by well-known people. So just because you like, let's say, smooth jazz when most of the crowd you run with likes country doesn't really make you a square peg. Square pegs are kind of eccentric and geeky and into things most folks don't care about probably because nobody else is into it. See what I mean?
I do see what you mean. I have to say I never really have enjoyed the feeling of not fitting in. When I went from a school for the blind to a public high school it took me a long time to feel comfortable. Same when I went to college. I've never really wanted to be a square peg even though I have had short periods of time of feeling like one. But I do think some people set out to be different. I don't have much in common with them.
I don't think i fit in well, but people usually leave me alone. i keep to myself much of the time at school. I think i'll make myself stand out even more once I get a deck of tarot cards by carrying those around with me.
I agree that when I was younger I didn't like it that I didn't fit in, but see, I wasn't interested in pretending to be like everyone else just to please others either. And, it's not that I intended to force myself to be an outsider, that's just how things turned out, probably due to spending lots of free time by myself. It took me many miserable years until I realized I had to accept I was introverted and accept I was an outsider and square peg before I could ever be happy, and I'd say I've done it. I find I'm also not much of a joiner, so the only way I can fit in anywhere is to find people I think are cool and gather them around me instead of trying to sacrifice my individuality by joining somebody else's group or pretending I'm into things that I'm not just to please others. I've never understood the appeal of things like sports, celebrity gossip, or organized religion and most likely never will, although I understand all of these things are very important to many many people. And, on the other hand, it is hard for me to explain why I like cheap stupid sci-fi movies, or talking clocks, or that I give a damn about old cartoons and TV shows and that most of the music I like is over 20 years old. If I'm to be considered easy to understand, I'm supposed to like rap and electronica and be all uptight and conservative and watch American Idol and Big Brother and sit around on these boards either acting like a troll or playing the "who's more independent than whom" game. Sorry, Charlie, not interested, can't do it, have better things to do. Hahahahahaha!
As I see it, this is a moot question. I think *everyone* wants to think of themselves as a square peg, as different, something special, etc. We're really afraid of mediocrity, and even though we sometimes try to not rock the boat too much because in general we want people to like us, at the same time we still want to think of ourselves as unique in ways that count. I can't tell you how many times I have heard opinions exactly like those of the original poster expressed by people around me--so often, in fact, that it seems to me that holding this opinion is more round than square.
Wow, wow. Isn't it a little bit self important to say that you don't fit into other groups but prefer to collect "cool" people around you. I'd like to think everyone thinks of themselves as cool (well I do, sometimes) but just because people think differently from you, because they like pop music that is mainstream or less than 20 years old or watch Friends or like Star Wars (great movies btw) doesn't make you more cool than they are, just different. You seem to be implying that just because you have a different taste in music and other things makes you somehow superior to what we can term "the crowd". May be I am misreading your post, of course, and we've often agreed on a lot of things in the past, but to me it seems a bit self important to think being different necessarily makes you better. And I think if you asked any person on the street if they were a bit different or just a part of the crowd a large majority would claim to be different.
I know a lot of guys who listen to death metal or dilligently read the latest programming news or Tom's Hardware and think they're "the shit", I think they're great guys but I still don't see how it makes them any better (except may be they can get themselves a nice job working with computers).
I heard somewhere that humans evolved in groups of 100 to 150, or tribes, and that we're still trying to find our "tribe" and separate ourselves from the millions of people we're packed in with, I think it may be true. To find your crowd you have to go by hobbies or intelligence or race or sexuality .. the Zone is an example, for sure. It's natural. But I just think those who oppose everything that's popular, say, are just as much controlled by it as those who follow the latest trend, the latest trend still dictates their choices, only they choose the opposite.
So, bieng different, is fine, finding group of people you get along with and understand you creates happiness and, I'd say, is necessary, but I don't think you should proudly claim to be different and than claim that you are better because you're different, that's just unnecessary self importance. If you're better, people will notice.
Excellent points there B. People who try not to fit in aren't really that different from those who try to fit in.
I agree Wildebrew. Those of us old enough to remember, at one time, a guy getting his ear pierced was on the edge…way out there…a nonconformist. Eventually, so many did this, it became passé. So what did these original ear piercers do? Did they keep the studs, or lose them because it became socially acceptable. If they did lose them, then as someone stated earlier, they are having their tastes dictated by the mainstream just as much as those who are in the mainstream are.
Let me throw a few short replies in here. First, Wildebrew, although I'm not a big fan of conformity for its own sake, I don't claim I'm better. I'm just different, not because I make an effort, but it's just how I naturally developed. For example, I don't dislike reality TV or pop music or rap or whatever because everybody else likes it, although I understand such things are very popular. I dislike such things simply because they aren't interesting to me. See what I mean? Now, Susanne, you make some interesting points. See, I have always had the impression that people fear being seen as weird. People might want to stand out, but I wonder if it is in a very limitted way. Maybe others can clue me in. I mean, look at the blindness community. I keep on seeing people saying something like "I hate being seen as different." This implies that being different is something wrong or shameful, unless what such folks mean by "different" is not a definition I know. I flippantly like to say, "Sure I want people to see me as weird and different, but I want people to love it!" Hahahahahaha! Now, let me offer up my view of the outsider/square peg using the pierced ear example. First of all, this person would pierce their ear, not because they were trying to purposely nonconform or piss others off, but just because they wanted to. They'd keep that pierced ear until they got tired of it, and not because it became cool or it fell out of fashion. Having to do what you do while having to track what everyone else is doing all the time makes life much too complicated, plus it makes you look like you're trying too hard.
I don't know if I'd qualify as different or what, but I don't necessarily care. I do whatever I want to do, regardless of what the rest of the world is doing around me.
I think there are many different "ypes" of different. I think, when it comes to blindness, "ifferent" means inferior or abnormal, that blind people can't do certain things or behave a certain way. Of course we want to be seen as different in some ways i.e. not be expected to be a designated driver, someone give us an elbow when walking in an unfamiliar area etc. And I still think a lot of people see being different as being cool, which I don't necessarily agree with (not implying Godzilla feels that way, it just appeared so from the post itself). I think actively being a non conformist is being a conformist because you must actively track what's popular and adjust your tastes appropriately. And, say, showing up at a job interview in orange pyjamas may be different but it's not a very positive type of different, it all depends on the circumstances, your personality and the opportunity. Conforming to certain social norms helps you get on with people and get along in the world, a certain degree of individuality helps you find a niche, friends and assert your personality on the world.
Let me add a few thoughts about being cool. Anybody got a good definition of exactly what that concept is? Does cool mean trendy or conformist, or does it mean rebellious, or does it mean aloof to the rest of the world. Although I have a lot of understandings about how society works, I don't understand what is threatening about even suggesting one is cooler than all others. First of all, the statement is all-or-nothing language. Nobody can really claim they are cooler than everybody else unless they have met everybody else, and I do mean everybody, and made a measurement of every last person. Besides, if you don't know me or care about me, you should not be threatened by what I think of you, whether it be good or bad or ugly or indifferent. Even if I did think I was cooler than at least some folks, it would not mean I'd feel entitled to hurt them in one way or the other. I'm a bit too old for that stuff, thankyaverymuch and I tend to respect people by default unless they show me that they're not worth respecting by being bullies or assholes. The thing is, if coolness equals trendiness or being up-to-date, or coolness is something opposite to geekiness or dorkiness, I am the lord god king of uncool, and I'd bet there are geeks who would look at me and think, "Damn, that dude is a freaking weirdo, keep away!" Hahahahahaha!
Can I be a square peg with rounded corners?
I think everyone's definition of cool depends on what group they belongs to, or not. hay if your friends think you are cool who cares about the rest of the world.
On this site extremely and in the real world Hell yeah, I am an individualist, kind of like Howard Roark but in my own way. I am one of the few conservativ rightest on here. I lean towards the libertarian or indepenndents.
Sometimes I have to wonder if most people see themselves as some minority when it might not be the case. For example, the poster above me seems to think that as a conservative or right-winger, they are in the minority, when I thought it was considered standard default not only to be conservative but to be Christian. Do we tend to believe that whoever our enemies might be, there are always more of them than there are of us?